On Being Crap

Sorry for the lack of posting... things have been crazy busy over the last few weeks. I keep adding to the huge pile of wedding stuff and things are not finalised.

I'm a little... stressed.

Effects of wedding-based stress have been varied. I keep falling asleep... does anyone else do this when they are feeling the pressure? I have become a 'snooze' monster when it comes to getting up at the time I've set my alarm for. I am failing to read my books on the bus, waking up just in time to get off. I can't handle staying up late most of the time. I managed at a party last night, but three attempts to watch Poltergeist which we recorded last week have resulted in failure. I am crap at being energised.

Did I mention paranoia? At least I hope that's what it is... I am crap at feeling confident.

My greenhouse is still broken. And I still haven't sorted out the kitchen tap. I am being crap at being organised - which is not me at all. And crap at DIY - which is.

I'm crap at being wholly frugal at the minute. Weddings can do that. I mean, I was very happy about my £35 dress, but all the little bits for the day are adding up. It makes me feel a bit wibbly when I think about how far into my new married life I'm going to be by the time I get to put all my plans into effect, because I will need to keep going as I am to manage the finances.

I am crap at not bursting into tears about how crap I am being.

And my dad's dog died on Friday. Poor Dylan... he was old and fat and wheezy and warty. He wasn't coping well with a chest infection and his heart was too weak to cope. I don't like typing the truth, so let's just say he 'went to live on a farm', which is what old dogs do after they've been to the vets one last time.

Dylan as a pup with an amusing toy

 

 

 

But I've achieved these things:

• I'm getting fit! Frugally! I asked on Facebook for some recommendations for free fitness apps for the Android, and a load of people recommended My Fitness Pal. I can't recommend it enough. It helps me log my food, tells me off if I haven't been eating enough and encourages me to get active - as I can log that too for extra things to eat. I've been doing the 30 Day Shred, though I won't be able to make the full 3o days before my wedding. Just a week in and it's helping me lose pounds, get toned and improve my strength. I can now do proper push-ups - like a man! Not many, granted... but I'm pretty sure without that I wouldn't have been able to open that old jar of Marmite yesterday. Jillian Michaels shouting at you... it works!

Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred [DVD]

• I've managed to make more crafts this month - like the knitted bangle and puppet card I made for a friend's birthday. I even decorated the gift box to make it more birthday-ish.

I may be a big ball of stress, but I am really appreciating spending time with friends... they are helping me through this.