Sunday, 13 April 2014

Strong, Please, Two Lumps. I'll Try the Other Attachments Later...

Not a lot of cord on it. Imagine how close you'd have to sit to the wall!

This has been the busiest and most stressful weekend I've had for a long time.  A bit of retail therapy was called for.

This was on sale at the antiques market in town yesterday.

Can you tell what it is?

I'm gonna tell you in a second...

I bet you can't stand the tension...


Oh, all right then.

Well my confuddled readers, what we have there is an Edwardian vibrator. OH spotted what it was. I'm not sure the person selling it even realised, as after we had a giggle with him about it, he started parading it round the other stall holders to show them. It was quite late in the day too. Well, let's face it, not the sexiest of toys is it? It looks more like an electric sander than a source of sublime pleasure. Mind, both sorts of implement involve a bit of DIY.

You can ooh it if you B&Q it?
Wickes: it's got our body fluids on it?

Should you be interested in purchasing your very own antique lady pleasurer (for the pleasuring of antique ladies, p'raps?), it comes with numerous attachments with different materials and textures, and has two settings of 'weak' and 'strong'. There's also 'off', but God knows why you'd need that. And given its antiquity, and that dodgy cord, I can only imagine it still has the power to shock.

We bought something else.
Frugalistas, please look away now, because to cheer me up, OH took me to the cinema. Full price. 3D!!! Was he mad? I can only assume the sight of a hundred-odd year old stimulator had excited him beyond sense. Anyway, we went to see Captain America 2: the Winter Soldier.

For a while, it looked like we would have the cinema to ourselves. Having chosen seats towards the back, OH was a bit dissatisfied with his choice and suggested we move forward two rows. Then, just before the film was about to start, in came another couple. 

Would you believe it? They'd only bought tickets for the seats we'd moved to.

They were fine, "No, don't worry, we'll sit here. No, tell you what, we'll move to the VIP seats, why not?"

And so they moved, and they giggled, and they chatted through the final trailer. They were funny, and we laughed with them. And then the film started. And they didn't shut up. And they were up and down, fetching more snacks, and missing crucial plot points that they had to discuss. In fact it as commentary the entire way through the film. They were very disappointed with the totally logical character development of Bucky.

And because we'd sat in their seats we didn't dare say a thing.

Talk about karma!

But then they left before the post trailer extra bit. So they missed all that.

Karma bit you back in the butt. Ha!

Thursday, 3 April 2014

What I did Instead of Going to Wales

So this weekend I could have gone to Sci fi Weekender in North Wales.  Some of my friends did and had a jolly good time.

I spent Friday night helping a friend celebrate their birthday.  My helpfulness extended beyond the point where he had actually gone home, so my Parkrun time on Saturday morning was a shocking 33 minutes.

But it was a nice day and all, so I went to town to do a bit of protesting.  As you do.

 The council intends to bring cars back to Abington Street.   It's going to mess up access, damage the local cafes who have had their open air licenses revoked and generally make being in town less pleasant.  Also they will have to borrow money for the conversion. Not cheap. So this chalkupy protest was brought about to show the council that people are opposed to these plans.  I added my contribution,  but to be honest couldn't hang about too long: I'm an editor and some of the spelling was making me twitch.

So I went to the library - and joy, one of the BSFA shortlisted books I'd not read yet was in.  Halfway through that one now.

On Sunday, I decided to make the most of the gorgeous spring weather and headed out with OH for an epic bike ride.  I saw at least five different types of butterfly,  and the air floated with the first scatterings of blossom.  Wild pansies in the hedgerows.  What season is this?

Our ride took us to Brampton Halt. The steam trains were going up and down the track and we waved enthusiastically at the passengers and driver.

Honestly, they were smiling...
 I decided to treat OH to a wee drinkie at the local. Which was a bit pricey. I contented myself with reading the BBQ menu, which is apparently "the most unique." I've heard the food is nice, though.

Clearly written by a fantasy writer... I mean, look at those capitalized nouns. And adjectives...
We decided to cycle on to the Brixworth Country Park. OH was ogling some bikes in the bike shop when a couple of our friends turned up, and they rode back with us along the gruelling Merry Tom Way, or as I call it Miserable Bastard Tom Way. It's all hills, holes and gravel. Nasty!

I didn't half ache after, but I felt dead proud of myself. That was about 14 miles in all. I want to get a bit more active, and cycling helps me to see some cool stuff nearby without splashing the cash.

On Monday, I treated OH to a night out at the flicks. Yet again we took advantage of the free movie night at one of the local bars, The Picturedrome. Anchorman 2 is not as bad as everyone says it is... honest. Okay... a lot of the same points of humour are massively over-laboured. But I love Brick Tamland. And lamp. I love lamp. I LOVE LAMP!

We are saving the pennies to go to another convention, but the pennies only come gradually. Having missed the super cheap flights that we saw last month, it is now making much more sense to take the train. Just 2 trains, 5 hours, easy. To make it as cheap as possible, we have bought the Two Together card, which will save us 1/3 off train travel all over the UK for a year. There's also an offer on the Gourmet society that we can use, which I might look into.

A word of advice... if you are looking to get the Two Together card yourself, don't do what I did and go to the station. You can order it online, load up any digital photo of yourself you like (so, it can be a nice one, taken for free, not a horrid photobooth one) so long as you are facing the camera, and for a short while you can get £3 discount too.

However, I also used Quidco to get 3% cashback. So what I didn't manage to save on buying online, I'll get back.

Planning ahead, I've made a note of where the supermarkets are for supplies, and got a list of all the pubs where we can use our CAMRA discount sorted. I'm a bit disappointed that the local Parkrun seems to be a taxi ride away, so I'm probably not going to be a Parkrun tourist this time.