I Bet I Have Walked Further Than Either of The Proclaimers

Dear reader, as I write I am at a very weird emotional and physical state somewhere between exhaustion, elation and a weird malaise. My legs feel all twitchy and brain feels all meh. Which is precisely the opposite of what exercise is supposed to do for you.

Thanks, exercise, but I'm sticking to chocolate from now on. Sugar rush, pancreatic crash and the brief, intense buzz of artificial happiness is where it's at. Only joking - this is a flapjack and snack-free zone.

The weekend started in a pretty intense way. Our tickets for Pearl Jam were booked yonks ago, and I budgeted a kingly sum to spend on the tangential fripperies that concerts somehow impel you to, like greasy tempura, and laaaaager. However, this sum got well and truly busted. Even Eddie Vedder remarked from the stage that signs saying "4 pints plus carrier -£20" should include an actual person to carry them to you in the crowd. Some grumblings occurred regarding 'rounds'. But on the plus plus plus side there was Eddie...

"It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this," was my favourite T-shirt slogan. Although, my brain says it in the style of Greg Wallace.

Check shirts abounded in the crowd... perhaps people still had them from their old Millets and Army & Navy purchases twenty years ago. Quite fortuitous if they were also going to the Monty Python reunion - lumberjack costume, sorted!

We did find out that if we returned 10 cups, we could get £1 back. So, we collected 100 cups from the floor. It all went on beer. Huzzah!

Not so huzzah was getting horrendously lost. I am so crap with crowds!

On Saturday, OH was working in the morning, then recovering from his very late night before his triathlon on Sunday, so it was on my lonesome that I headed to the Films on the Waterfront Festival in Midsummer Meadow.  I was really looking forward to seeing the first film Frozen, which I hadn't seen before and had heard lots of good things about.

I had my ice cream, my fizzy pop, my new picnic blanket (a bargain at 49p from Marks and Spencers). What was I missing? Some sun screen... darn it. What else?

Oh yeah... I was the only one there without a child.

Then I spotted some friends and we all had a lovely time watching this film - all for free! Unfortunately I had errands to run so couldn't stick around for Despicable Me 2 or Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Frozen is a great film; it's not all about squishy romance, in fact neatly subverting it. The princesses don't wear pink either. Recommended!

Yesterday, I went to watch my fella in his triathlon at Pitsford. Unfortunately, after deciding to walk there to carry picnic stuff and not break it, I arrived shortly after the event had finished.  Never mind, it was only 7 miles there.

The long and lonely N6 cycle path...

I didn't manage to walk 7 miles back though... we made it as far as a country pub where I had a £5 voucher and 5% off on further spending, so I bought him a well-deserved pint. His first Olympic Triathlon, managed in a neat 3 hours and 4 minutes. My hero!

"Where's me bike?"

Oh, yeah, he did it on his bike that he built himself too. Just had to leave it behind to have the gears looked at, but it did a stunning job.

And on the walk home, we saw these cuties. Awwww...

'Eep! 'Eeep!

with Mummy.

Anyway, that's why I am shattered. Mind, that hasn't stopped me making more yoghurt and bread tonight. Oh and I made some paneer the other day which has gone into some yummy saag paneer for lunchypops tomorrow.

Fame, Fame, Fatal Fame

Tuesday lunchtime, I got interviewed for the Helen Blaby's show (Follow the link to listen again about 37 minutes in). Helen was interested in what bargains could be had round and about and I happily chatted away.

Then Helen asked me what the best bargain I'd had was - ever.

All I could think of was chocolates and turkey. Could you tell it was lunchtime?! Were these the best bargains I'd ever had?

Why didn't I tell her about my gorgeous £35 wedding dress?

.. or how about that I was only charged labour costs for the jewel bouquet due to the generosity  of my friends collecting pieces for me. My purple chiffon - £2 from the market and pressie feathers from another friend.

As I write, I'm wearing a very sunny dress (given to me for nowt by my friend the stunning and amazing comedian Leanne McKie - she's given me loads of clothes, lovely lady) and some bargain £20 DM dolly shoes from the factory outlet shop in Wollaston, saving probably £40 on the full price. Similar outfit to here in fact (only I am a squidge slimmer now). Most of my wardrobe is from the chazzas.

Then there was the stunning break I arranged to propose to OH in an Elizabethan manor house (because he's a sucker for romance), with afternoon tea, a ghost walk around Stratford upon Avon in the evening, a few hours in the spa and pool and a trip to Warwick Castle (including the tower) the next day? Thanks to Top Secret Rooms, buy one get one free ticket from collecting crisp packets and a perusal of the local 'what's on' site, I bagged all this and the man for £88.

Late Rooms.com

How about all those fabulous trips to the theatre over the last year for between nowt and a tenner for me and OH? And how about paying NOTHING to go and see X-Men First Class and Anchorman 2 at the Picturedrome, NOTHING to go see The World's End at Cineworld (with chocolate wrappers) and just £3.50 for the pair of us to go see The Lego Movie on the Kids' Sunday Matinee (incidentally, it's awesome, very funny).

Some of the cool stuff to be had out there for little or nowt is for everyone and anyone to find. I would say, only take advantage of the stuff you know you will appreciate if it's a material object, there's a limited quantity, or if there's a cost. But if you're talking about a thing to experience, potentially a good memory for the future, why be a stick in the mud? Just go for it!

Speaking of which, here are some from this weekend. I went to see my university friends in Southampton. After we bid goodbye, I tried to get back to the train station. I got stupendously lost, but hey, Southampton has some cool historical stuff dotted about the city centre, from sections of the old city wall and castle, to the elaborate gate, gun dock, and a memorial to citizens who died in a terrible fire in the 1830s. Good exercise, taking in the sights. Also good for clearing hangovers. not that I get such things...

Big gate thing

Great Fire Memorial - or recycled church, if you will.

Castle gate, with gun docks

What was not so good for a hangover was the continued session that resulted from going to Northampton Music Festival the following day.

The festival site was the whole town

Surprised to see Avril Lavigne get such a low billing... perhaps that's why she didn't show. Maybe it was the shame from that awful Hello Kitty thing.

The view from the beer garden - which could be the title of a future biography, I like to think.

Two-string shoebox guitar and tea-chest combo at All Saints - I think this was Kenneth J Nash.

I believe this was Hannah Graham at BBC (Black Bottomed Club - Northampton College) stage, not Avril Lavigne.

These guys were pretty good - I think they were The Celebrities.

Brighton beach? No! It's the Summer Terrace at NN Cafe

King's Gambit - I'd always wondered what they sounded like. Folksy gutsy music. Very good.

Alan Lynn of NN Cafe creates a masterpiece of a salad with turkey, pear and blueberries.

Whilst many band members looked like extras from Mumford and Sons, the keyboardist of Sean Grant and the Wolfgang resembled Sherlock's arch villain Jim Moriarty.

Cousin Avi. A bit Jamiroquai/Maroon 5. Not really my thing, but the crowd loved them. Well, we can't all like Mumford and Sons, can we?

What an awesome weekend - prepare for repeat at the Northampton Food Festival on 4th and 5th July - free, with free tasters and voucher giveaways for local restaurants and shops. I hope there's some left on Saturday as that's the only day I can make it down.

Food-wise, I've been very lucky lady. Vouchers found on moneysavingexpert.com have got me a free Danio yoghurt, and a free sushi roll this week.

Taken on the bus. It's okay, I had the duck.

And I was lucky to get free tickets and a lift to the Good Food show last weekend, where I picked up some bargains and free goodies. Just like the shops, if you go round on the last hour on Sunday to make your purchases, the stall holders throw in some extras or make things even cheaper.

We had free Super Theatre tickets to see Tom Kerridge and Michael Caines.

Great displays in the Garden Show

This was part of an RHS garden commemorating the First World War.

Bansai!!!!

My nephew, taking part in a free craft session to make a candle from real beeswax.

The haul! Mostly freebies. Total spend £7.60. The bag contains 2 fresh kippers for £1.60. Awesome.

Other freebies I've had this week include 2 free style magazines (I know, I'm stylish enough, right?), one for filling in a survey online, another was just left on a bus as litter. I'm not proud. I finished the free book I had from Galaxy chocolate - Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn - and it was really good, I  recommend it. A nice blend of self-harming Southern Gothic, freaky families and a murder mystery to boot. Think Tim Burton does The Killing.

So, anyway, in this blog, which is essentially an exercise in over-sharing, it seems I am perhaps not sharing enough. You may be here looking for advice in grabbing bargains, but reading about what I have managed to find after the fact may be as useful to you as extra dentures would be to Luis Suarez. Even though I do hunt down more bargains than Tim Wonnacott (what do you mean "who"? The antiques fella. No, not the orange one, the one who dresses like Peter Davidson era Doctor Who), I am pro-mimalist spending; pro-local industries, pro high-street, pro-ethical shopping and all for paying the creator their due. These things do not always go hand in hand with being a bargainista.

Ah well, I can but try.

Strong, Please, Two Lumps. I'll Try the Other Attachments Later...

Not a lot of cord on it. Imagine how close you'd have to sit to the wall!

This has been the busiest and most stressful weekend I've had for a long time.  A bit of retail therapy was called for.

This was on sale at the antiques market in town yesterday.

Can you tell what it is?

I'm gonna tell you in a second...

I bet you can't stand the tension...

Nearly...

Oh, all right then.

Well my confuddled readers, what we have there is an Edwardian vibrator. OH spotted what it was. I'm not sure the person selling it even realised, as after we had a giggle with him about it, he started parading it round the other stall holders to show them. It was quite late in the day too. Well, let's face it, not the sexiest of toys is it? It looks more like an electric sander than a source of sublime pleasure. Mind, both sorts of implement involve a bit of DIY.

You can ooh it if you B&Q it?

Wickes: it's got our body fluids on it?

Should you be interested in purchasing your very own antique lady pleasurer (for the pleasuring of antique ladies, p'raps?), it comes with numerous attachments with different materials and textures, and has two settings of 'weak' and 'strong'. There's also 'off', but God knows why you'd need that. And given its antiquity, and that dodgy cord, I can only imagine it still has the power to shock.

We bought something else.

 

Frugalistas, please look away now, because to cheer me up, OH took me to the cinema. Full price. 3D!!! Was he mad? I can only assume the sight of a hundred-odd year old stimulator had excited him beyond sense. Anyway, we went to see Captain America 2: the Winter Soldier.

For a while, it looked like we would have the cinema to ourselves. Having chosen seats towards the back, OH was a bit dissatisfied with his choice and suggested we move forward two rows. Then, just before the film was about to start, in came another couple. 

Would you believe it? They'd only bought tickets for the seats we'd moved to.

They were fine, "No, don't worry, we'll sit here. No, tell you what, we'll move to the VIP seats, why not?"

And so they moved, and they giggled, and they chatted through the final trailer. They were funny, and we laughed with them. And then the film started. And they didn't shut up. And they were up and down, fetching more snacks, and missing crucial plot points that they had to discuss. In fact it as commentary the entire way through the film. They were very disappointed with the totally logical character development of Bucky.

And because we'd sat in their seats we didn't dare say a thing.

Talk about karma!

But then they left before the post trailer extra bit. So they missed all that.

Karma bit you back in the butt. Ha!